Winning a football match requires stoic defense and goals. The “beautiful game” is fun to watch, but goals matter.
Goals win games, as some teams that were thrashed discovered. In reverse order, here are the five highest-scoring football matches ever…
Australia 31-0 American Samoa
Australia played American Samoa in a 2002 FIFA World Cup qualifier at the International Sports Stadium in Australia on April 11, 2001. Archie Thompson’s 13 goals set a personal record, and the home team set a world record for the biggest international match victory.
Thompson and manager Frank Farina from Australia subsequently advocated for the inclusion of preliminary rounds to mitigate the occurrence of imbalanced matches. The match resulted in an Oceanian Zone preliminary round for the 2006 FIFA World Cup.
Arbroath 36-0 Bon Accord
In the 1885/86 Scottish Cup, Arbroath defeated Bon Accord 36-0. The mismatched teams met in the first round of the 13th Scottish tournament.
In Arbroath’s seventh tournament, the final Score Update showed the class gap between Scottish teams. Bon Accord’s arrival at Arbroath’s ground without an away kit was ominous! By halftime, it was 15-0, and the home team stepped up in the second half, giving Bon Accord no respite.
Police Machine FC 67-0 Bubayaro FC
On July 7, 2013, Police Machine FC defeated Bubayaro FC 67-0 to win a spot in Nigeria’s lowest football league, the Nationwide League Division. The score was called “scandalous.”
Police Machine led 6-0 at halftime, but Bubayaro’s bizarre own goals in the second half skewed the score. The Organising Committee of the Nigerian Football Federation deemed the outcome “unacceptable” and labeled it a “scandal of considerable magnitude” subsequent to accusations of match manipulation.
Plateau United Founders 79-0 Akurba FC
On July 7, 2013, Plateau United Founders emerged victorious over Akurba FC with an impressive scoreline of 79-0, during their encounter in the corresponding league. Given the resemblance of this match to the Police Machine vs. Bubayaro FC fixture, concerns were raised regarding potential involvement in match fixing.Plateau United led 7-0 at halftime, but the away team scored 72 own goals in the second half, helping them score 72 more!
Dr. Mohammed Sanusi, the NFF’s competitions director, was furious and promised to investigate. Two absurd results resulted in ten-year bans for the four suspect clubs. All players and match officials received lifetime bans, but match fixing was never discovered.
AS Adema 149-0 Stade Olympique de l’Emyrne
On October 31, 2002, AS Adema and Stade Olympique de l’Emyrne played the highest-scoring football match ever. The two THB Champions League teams in Madagascar made the Guinness Book of World Records.
After drawing SO Emyrne, AS Adema had already won the title. The club felt a late penalty against SO Emyrne was a questionable refereeing decision, which cost them the title. Thus, they staged a bizarre protest against AS Adema in the season finale.
Since the match began, Emyrne players scored own goals. They scored 149 own goals—more than one per minute—but the referee allowed the match to continue and the home team won 149-0.
The stunt resulted in the dismissal of both the SO Emyrne coach and four players from their positions. Consequently, they were subjected to a three-year suspension, prohibiting their participation in any other team. Nonetheless, the record for the football match with the highest score remained unchanged. If this incident were to be a part of funny fantasy football team names, it would surely be one for the books.
